|
vanillapearl
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Lynny
Country: United States
State: Michigan
Metro: Ann Arbor
Birthday: 7/20/1988
Gender: Female
Interests: Movies, LOST, telenovelas, hanging with my buds, laughing, smiling, taking pictures, developing pictures, history, chemistry, math, looking for beach glass, summer, sunrises, sunsets, the moon, accessories, reading, listening to music, foreign music, hugs, kisses, shopping, cute things, cleaning, water, cherry ice cream, accents, walking, yoga, having fun, cool advertisments, comedians, love, candles, traveling, skirts, rings, filling out things, koalas, polar bears, flamingos, U of M football, the Pistons, cousins, airplanes, palm trees, manicures, pedicures, Pacific ocean, cafe's, Starbucks, caramel, peanut butter, vanilla, blueberries, roses, sunflowers, cookies, diamonds, pearls, rubies, purple, green, orange and pink.
Expertise: History, Movies
Occupation: Student
Industry: Hospitality
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  nylz06
Member Since:
9/22/2004
|
|
|
I once knew a girl
In the years of my youth
With eyes like the summer
All beauty and truth
In the morning I fled
Left a note and it read
Someday you will be loved.
I cannot pretend that I felt any regret
Cause each broken heart will eventually mend
As the blood runs red down the needle and thread
Someday you will be loved
You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved
You may feel alone when you're falling asleep
And everytime tears roll down your cheeks
But I know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet
Someday you will be loved
You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved
You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved
Someday you will be loved
| | |
| why can I never think of anything meaningful to write in this??
i'm retarded.
I cannot have who I want.
I'm hopeless.
| | |
| wow. i'm writing in xanga. it's been awhile.
i'll write a longer entry later!! :)
| | |
| Well, I think it is time to say goodbye to Xanga. High school is done...this era in my life complete. I feel like I am losing a lot, but at the same time, gaining a hell of a lot. I just had a lengthly talk with first my therapist, and then my sister about everything I am sad about at the moment; ending high school, essentially becoming an "orphan" again (more about that later), being rejected from my job before i've even started, "family", family.. father.. lots.
I came into high school a lost and confused teenager... the girl that people stopped being friends with because she was "too shy"....having just moved into a house with four people I hardly even knew. It was awful at first, then okay. I started high school with my bedroom not even complete - I was still sharing a room with Liv and Samantha...the big room in the basement with the heating system and pipes...loud, humid, uncomfortable. I thought everything was fine, but all the repressed feelings from the summer of change came out Labor Day weekend '02. I tried to skip school on my 4th day...I pretended to walk to the bus stop, only to run back and hide in my backyard. The neighbors saw me, and went to tell my dad. It was not a pleasant day...it was sort of a summation of everything bad that happened during the summer. I remember going to my mom's...planning on living there and starting to go to Pioneer. I never wanted to see my dad again. That obviously didn't happen. I went back to school the next day...only to talk to a social services person. That day I also found a new father figure. I think he knew what happened (talking to the social service people) but said instead, "Did you party too much on Labor Day?" I guess that was sort of stupid to say in my situtation, but it made me smile and forget all of the ridiculous things going on around me. That same day... I faced my real father again... we were fine, and I told him I wanted therapy again. From then on, no real problems during ninth grade. I made new friends...rekindled some old friendships...I was still pretty sad...but I had my father figure at school...whom ended up turning into an obsession. I still to this day don't understand why....i'm still trying to figure it out.
Life as a sophomore was good. I made a new great friend, someone who I had lots of fun with. It was a great surprise because I never knew that I could become so close with someone so quickly. She was so fun to laugh with. My father figure was still there...the obsession more out of hand than ever. No one stopped my madness about him; not even him himself. When I look back, I feel as if sophomore year was the best year of high school, but at the same time, the year that makes me feel unbearably embarrassed about things that I said, did, or thought about. It kind of even makes me feel like crying. So much fun, yet so incredibly immature...
Junior year...lots of change. I returned to Ann Arbor after a whole summer up north working. I changed... I became more independent...I looked different..I felt better. I was going to be with my father figure the whole year...> mistake in ways, great in ways. I became apart of things this year...I volunteered...I still had a great time. I realized a lot. The following summer was my best summer ever. I hung out with my friends, and I went to a lot of places. Saw a lot of people I hadn't seen in a long while. I miss last summer.
I think when I started senior year...I was still missing summer. When I took my senior pics, I felt sad..I didn't feel happy. When you look at my pics you can see an aura of sadness. I think that can be said for the tone of the year. I had fun...I had my first kiss...I went to dances....I changed my views...but I didn't live it up like others. I lost my great friend who was mentioned above. No matter how much I still think I was right about everything the friendship was ended by, I lost someone who was a really happy light in my life...this also severed other friendships. By the end, I feel as if I am right at the beginning of high school friendship-wise. My father figure was put on hold for a while, but for some unknown reason came back again. I think it is because I was psychologically lonley...or maybe just psycho. That is why now I feel like an orphan. My father is still ... yea. I don't live with my mom. My father figure is gone, but yet i'm still hanging on for all that I have. I didn't even really say goodbye...I did, but never got a proper goodbye from him. Maybe i'm just being a selfish bitch who wants things that just aren't going to happen. But...i'll miss him. It will be hard to find someone I like that much again. I would have never thought that this is what I would be thinking a few days after graduation. I bet when I was a freshman I dreamed that after graduation I would have a car, a job, a boyfriend, and college plans. So far...only one check on that list...college. The job...McDonalds...is not going to work out. I am not saying i'm giving up, but if someone hires you with no intent of letting you work...there is a definite problem.
I guess I should just be happy that in August, i'm going to be gone. I'm not planning on coming home very often.
| | |
| omg.. how did I manage to get so sick?
I hope i'm not like this for graduation....
| | |
|
